March 11, 200l

Shock filled,
at first the grieving
was all emptiness,
absence of feeling.
Now the pain comes tripping,
falling hurt over
soft songs you favored.
Everything a
barrier, simply
by your absence,
I cannot seem to move
through this space.
It lingers and fills my days.
So hard,
a child dead before
and by his own hand!
My horror at this
returns to haunt me
daily. Comfort
is yours now,
beyond pain, safe at last,
released.
But me,
I am lost
in this living without you.
Broken hearted, swamped
by soggy marsh of tears,
searching for a message,
trusted life lesson,
tell myself to do
one thing
everyday
to honor you and celebrate
life.
Struggling to manage
this, feel like
simply fading away.
I thought birthing was hard.
Burying you
may be more than I can do.

Copyright © 2001-2003 Kristen Spexarth